Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Monstaville Book I. Chapter 34


“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
- Jimi Hendrix.

Tuesday 19 November 2002. 23.05 p.m.

Came out of Star Wars, Episode II, Attack of the Clones. I felt power and a sense of destiny, dedicating myself to the Light, and working for the Light in the world. Be the ‘Force,’ the Light. ‘Trust your feelings’ (more and more). Not fighting with weapons, but using the might of your spiritual strength and the light it can attract and channel. The Jedi (‘Djedi’) knights have to be/think positively at all times. Otherwise, they are weaker, vulnerable.

In a bar, a guy tries to sell Obi Wan Knobe some ‘death sticks’ (cigarettes or joints?!). Obi replies: ‘You don’t want to sell me death sticks. You want to go home and relax’ (or something); that is, he used positive suggestion to influence a weaker mind.

00.26 a.m.

Walking home from a Star Wars film [Attack of the Clones] in town, I decided I need a powerful ally to protect me: a pet dragon to encompass me in light, fill my residence with power (white light), send Pigsy away (moving) and generally give me extra support and protection. I immediately wondered what name to give the dragon - and the surname ‘Zhou’ came to mind (after muddling over zuö or some word like that I couldn’t put my finger on). Interestingly, zhù means ‘live’ and zuò means ‘do’ (as in gung zuò - do work, practice). And, zhúzi means ‘bamboo.’ In fact, zi came to mind earlier but meaning Mr., Sir, Master or something seemed inappropriate. It seems that the name that was there was probably zhúzi - bamboo. So that is the dragon’s name! (Also interesting: turn the word around and you get zizhù, meaning self-service, and this dragon ally exists to serve me, to help and protect me. It is to be a deliberate thought form I must work on and create. [Retrospective note: I did ‘tinker’ with the dragon but only off and on for a short while, not long enough to create anything substantial. I had used a blue healing dragon in the past, and also a multicoloured one. Incidentally, I once learned that one of the biggest things holding humanity back is the volume and power of astral forms created by negative emotions over the past millennia. The spirits are trying to break them down but it seems we must also work through them, endure and suffer them, transform them. I already had a dragon tattoo on one arm and, at some point, after learning that two dragons represent protection, had another tattoo done on the other arm. There also happen to be two dragons on the Tibetan black opal ring which I wear much of the time].

Angel Card: Compassion. I was furious with one of my bosses. Warning to have compassion for all whom I struggle with.

Master Kan (Philip Ahn): Deal with evil through strength. But affirm the good in man through trust. In this way, we are prepared for evil, but we encourage good.
                - Kung Fu (Season 1, Episode 5, ‘The Tide,’ 1973).

“My effort is to create even the same quality of love and trust in the men who have by chance joined my caravan. And those qualities are arising. If those qualities do not arise, you remain stuck in the head. If those qualities arise then you can enter into the heart. The woman is born with those qualities of the heart. The man is born with the qualities of the head. And the disciple has to be feminine whether he is male or female. It doesn’t matter. Because, without reaching to the heart there is no way towards being and no way of disappearing into the universal life source.” - Osho.

Without feeling, without the soul, the Lunar side of life, you cannot find the spirit, the Sun. And, without the Sun (the spirit and will) the Moon (emotions and imagination) can become negative, reflecting Hell, plunged into the darkness of total unconsciousness.

Pigsy, like other macho men, fear me because they will have to suffer as I have in order to become more sensitive and reflective, more whole, more complete, in their soul’s journey towards perfection.

Troublemakers are troubled, and that’s the trouble!

"Every problem or difficulty you face contains the seed of an equal or greater advantage or benefit." - Napoleon Hill.

Retrospective inserts.

"If you only knew what God had to take me through to get me to the place where he could use me to be a blessing to other people, I doubt whether you would be willing to pay the price." - Chuck Swindoll.  (

Dreaming Bear: …and then you transcend pain by turning it into beauty. You transcend ugliness by turning it into a treasure. Darkness becomes light. That’s the alchemy that we’re here to perform. That’s the metamorphosis from mundane to magnificent. That’s the key to getting everyone...speaking the same language. We have to embrace our pain, the same way we embrace our joy.
A woman asks: And embrace others’ pain?
Dreaming Bear: Without shame and judgement. You have to love everything you see about yourself in humility, without judgement. And not just yourself but everyone else. Because that creates a safety that we can all thrive in. and the problem is our pain has kept us unsafe for too long. We feel guarded. Especially in L.A.: there’s a layer of plastic. You have to peel back to turn the mannequins into men again. You hear me? There’s a layer of plastic we have to peel back to turn the mannequins [adopts a stiff, macho pose] into men again [relaxes and places his hand on his heart]. So, that comes through authenticity and vulnerability. The path of vulnerability is what I call it. Because that’s where it’s at.
The woman asks: Why are we so afraid to be vulnerable?
Dreaming Bear: Because, one too many times, we put our finger in the mousetrap and we keep saying, ‘I remember what that was like. And now I’m not going to do that again, no. And, so, for me, I came to the conclusion that I would just leave my heart in a vulnerable place.  I call it the accessibility of being known. And, in the beginning, I would worry. I would think, ‘What if my heart gets broken amidst the world’s carelessness and confusion? Of course, ultimately, it does get broken. And then what happens? You fall to the ground and you’re mourning over what you consider to be the finality of being completely and utterly lost and annihilated. And then you find in the remnants of your former heart, broken, another heart, still beating. And then I realised that, even though we get broken, we only get broken open. The state of vulnerability is the state of openness.
(Excerpt from a YouTube video posted by In2MeC, 3 April 2009,

To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. - Criss Jami.

The Key’ by Rain

We never realised before
to every key there is a door
For every door there is a way
to turn the key and make us stay

For every word of truth that's spoken
exists a lie and promise broken
For every soul with a trusting heart
a child is used and torn apart

For each of us that dared to trust
a life was destroyed and turned to dust
Each time a hand in ‘love’ extended
another life so harshly ended

What is it now you ask of me
when rage and fear is all I see?
For love and safety were just a ploy
used by the evil to destroy

The only safety we could have had
has flown away because we're bad
For all the fault, it lies in me
still you're the demon that holds the key!

"Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable." - Joyce Brothers.

"All shamanic traditions postulate two criteria for initiation to the mysteries of personal transformation, inner-eye perception and healing: becoming disconnected from the original family and passing through the ‘creative illness’ - the death of the immature ego. The only real way to be holy is to be torn into a thousand pieces, and to put yourself back together again." - Hugh Milne (The Heart of Listening, Volume 1, North Atlantic Books, CA., U.S., 1998).

“As one integrates the parts of self that are ‘insane’ upon a parallel plane, one will also more readily open unto dreamtime and one's own unconscious. This many an ascending initiate is doing at this time, and sometimes opening the unconscious can be scary or frightening as there are indeed many monsters and goblins therein. The monsters and goblins are only present due to the Anunnaki programming and desire to prevent their slave race from awakening and ascending. Anger will generally cause such monsters and goblins to leave in a great hurry, as they are in just as much fear as oneself.
                Navigating the unconscious is a difficult thing at first. The further that one ascends, the easier it becomes. We of the nature kingdoms will assist as a guide for those who are willing to embark upon this return journey to full consciousness in human form and open unto the unconscious. Call upon us as such and we will lead the way and lift the veils that the forces of the dark run so that one may see more clearly down to the truth of one's own internal process. We will act as a guide through what may appear as a group of goblins or monsters, so that one will learn not to fear such internal manifestations but rather integrate them as needed in the act of transcendence."
                - The Fox Kingdom (channelled through Karen Danrich ‘Mila,’ ‘The Sly Fox,’ 16 May 2002,

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.” - Joseph Addison.

'Again and Again' by Rashani.

It is only by breaking open entirely,
by allowing our heart and whole being
to break open again and again,
wider than we ever thought possible,
that the unbreakable jewel is revealed:
the belovedness of being itself,
the radiant diamond that we have always been.
By loving, truly loving every aspect
of who we are,
an inexplicable laughter is born
from the deepest sorrow,
an exquisite song emerges
from the most terrifying scream,
the most tender child is awakened
through the hateful murderer,
our purest holiness is revealed
by our willingness to embrace
the very thing that most frightens us
and we find unexpectedly the treasure
where we least expect it to be.
Often in the most disavowed part
of who we are.

"When a great heart breaks, as it must, we gather the pieces into ourselves and are made whole thereby." - Deena Metzger.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” - Kahlil Gibran.

"The broken heart is chosen as a symbol of this group, for it is when the heart is truly broken (of ego-self) that there can be a true Awakening and Gnosis, which will enable one to realise the Truth." – From the description of a spiritual group on Facebook.

“The great benefit of science is that it can make a tremendous contribution to the alleviation of suffering on a physical level, but it is only by cultivating the qualities of the human heart and transforming our attitudes that we can begin to address and overcome our mental suffering. We need both, since the alleviation of suffering must take place on both a physical and a psychological level.” - Dalai Lama.

"Any attempt to get is insane. Likewise, any attempt to refrain from receiving or giving is also insane. Getting and receiving are not the same. Giving to get is not true giving. Giving and receiving are one. For in either case, the heart must open, the defences must be laid aside, and the soul becomes wholly vulnerable. Yet, in the perfect paradox of the spiritual journey, when vulnerability is fully allowed through mastery of the keys to the Kingdom (desire, intention, allowance, and surrender), when this, indeed, is accomplished, Love is known. For in perfect vulnerability, the soul remembers its perfect invulnerability. The world can do nothing to the one who only loves." - Jeshua ben Joseph (channelled through Jayem, The way of Mastery,

"The only way to learn compassion is through our own broken hearts, we have to back up and pass through our own pain." - Matthew Fox.

“As adults, many of you are subject to addictions: to drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, television, work, sex or even religion. All ways of avoiding feelings and authenticity in favour of escapism and other people's ready-made solutions to your life.
As you once again ‘switch on’ your heart voice, you may have to face many painful feelings that have been repressed for many years. Many of you may feel lingering depression and sadness as you struggle to understand why you feel this way. These are authentic feelings, so not reject them or judge yourself. Rather understand that your soul is asking you to recognise these very old feelings relating to inauthenticity - and to clear them.
The process of clearance is through forgiveness and allowing the emergence of vulnerability and tenderness in your life. Forgiveness will happen as you emerge into compassion, for you will understand how we have all been taught to switch off the heart and follow the mind as a survival technique. Those who taught us to do this thought they were doing the best thing to help us to be ‘real’ and ‘rational.’ So we will not need to hold onto angers and resentments about the past as we move into this new and empowered space of freedom to be who we authentically are...we only have to enter into our authentic being to experience the supportive and all-embracing love that surrounds us.
But to enter this heartspace we must be willing to be vulnerable. To show others who we truly are and to trust that they will accept us. Even if this acceptance is not forthcoming, being authentic and acting in integrity will release immense power in your psyche. It will allow you to truly feel your reality and act from a place of power rather than victimhood.
Emerging from Vulnerability is tenderness, a deep feeling of compassion and acceptance. An understanding of your own vulnerability and that of others, producing gentleness and kindness and caring, no matter what the circumstances. And in this tenderness will arise a true understanding of the experience of love at the centre of all things, and that every experience is a gift of love and can be lived as such, without anger or hurt.
Tenderness and Vulnerability provide the bridges from one heart to another and create a space for sharing and growth."
- Celia Fenn (excerpt from ‘Entering into Your Heartspace: Emerging into Authenticity,’

“I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again.
I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.
I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars.
I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”
- Og Mandino.

Life Will Break You

Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearnings.
You have to love.
You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth.
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,
Or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree
and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.

‑ Louise Erdrich (The Painted Drum, p. 247).

“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.” - Ernest Hemingway.

God is not far away from us, but we are far away from God, and the only reason is our insensitivity. – Osho.

Having no money makes you vulnerable and provides you with lessons in humility because you are at the mercy of everyone according to ‘celebrity vicar’ Peter Owen Jones in the first episode of his TV series How to Live a Simple Life (7 May 2010, BBC2). Certainly, my being stuck in this place due to poverty has ‘availed’ me with a fair slice of hell on Earth! Another way to be potentially vulnerable is to stand out by being rich, talented, successful, honest, courageous and eccentric like Michael Jackson, for example, in which case there is a whole network of fear-oriented people who will resent you and make a concerted effort to destroy you.

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” – Lord Byron.

“Have the Humility to be Intimate. Humility is the willingness to see each day as being brand new. It is the willingness to let people change instead of insisting that they can never change. You create your reality primarily out of choice and belief.  If you consistently choose to see people at their worst and believe that, then that is just the way they are. You will be right, but miserable. To be humble is to say, ‘That’s the way it’s always been and it can be different now.’ Be humble enough to be close, tender and vulnerable with yourself and with those about whom you care.” - Lazaris (channelled through Jach Pursel, The Sacred Journey. You and your Higher Self, NPN Publishing Inc., FL., U.S., 1987, p.111).

“It is important to realise that the energy of sensitivity may influence you by allowing feelings of being vulnerable, insecure or unsupported to arise. These are simply energies from the past that need to be released, because with the acceptance of all other qualities you will realise a deep seated strength rising from within you.” (From ‘11-11-11 Energy Wave and Activation, Part 2’ by Archangel Metatron, Lord Merlin and Lady Portia, channelled through Natalie Glasson, 9 November 2011,

"When we can't protect ourselves anymore, only mercy remains." - Stephen Levine.

“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.” – G.K Chesteron.

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