Saturday, 23 November 2013
Monstaville Book I. Chapter 39
“Everyone loves a drink; no one likes a drunk.”
"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future." - Bernard Meltzer.
When Pigsy moved in he didn’t like me putting the recycling leaflet on the wall. I was doing him a favour since only one came through the letterbox. He thought I was imposing ‘goody-two-shoes’ ideas on him. He didn’t like my non-physical orientation, fat belly, etc, and shirt/jumper look in winter. He doesn’t like feeling he should help anyone. And he hated the landlord asking him to lay carpet on the floor [he had a low rent to do the flat up]. Their request gave him the perfect idea for terror tactics: delay carpeting the floor for as long as possible and, in the meantime, make a lot of noise. Deliberate intimidation. He also said he intends to trash his flat when he moves just so the landlord won’t get all the new stuff he has put in. He’s an angry, fucked up, violent, destructive monster! Yet, the last Angel Card I picked regarding all this was Forgiveness and I just picked up the card ‘Tenderness.’ So, you just have to be firm inside and soft and gentle outside, yielding and flexible in the realm of illusory forms but centred in the inner reality, beyond form.
You hold a knife to my throat and then call me a coward? [He made ‘chicken’ noises when he went out one day with his girlfriend and, another time, banged on my door on the way out with her].
He’s jealous of/doesn’t like educated people. He wants to prove that his way of living is best and makes him more powerful. So he displays physical power, albeit cowardly with a knife, and tries to make you feel powerless, weak, and feel that his way is better and gives him joy, power and happiness you can’t have. He doesn’t realise it’s the other way round, especially since you now, as a result, must draw on inner reserves of power, joy and light, and do this through faith, strength and know-how.
“We often pretend to fear what we really despise, and more often despise what we really fear.” - Charles Caleb Colton.
If you have to talk to Pigsy, relate to him as you would a disturbed child who misbehaves and is angry and emotional. You can’t hit him as he’s only a child and doesn’t know any better. He has a lot to learn. Be compassionate, patient and tolerant. Be strong within. Eventually, he might repeat that. Live your life and be happy and at peace. Do not be affected by his monstrous, childish games. If it comes to it, you will call the police, not take revenge. He is nothing. He cannot affect you inside, and the outside is nothing. Accept that. You appear to be weak because you are gentle and practising non-action. You are focussing your centre, your will, and he responds to that, to your ‘magic and faith.’ There is no need to do anything. He relates to you as someone who he has conquered. Let him think that. Don’t react. But, do your inner work to keep him at a distance - and maybe he’ll go away!!
"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these."
“Children, I grant, should be innocent; but when the epithet is applied to men, or women, it is but a civil term for weakness.” - Mary Shelley.
“I think, therefore I am...not related to you.” - Author unknown.
“It is not death that a man should fear never beginning to live.” - Marcus Aurelius.
“Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.” - Bertolt Brecht.
“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’" - Charlie Brown, Peanuts (by Charles Schulz).
20 December 2002.
Feeling horrified at the prospect of Pigsy coming back and having to hear him come home and be in the house, etc, his presence here, let alone the terrifying thought of ever having to see his (ugly) face again.
Angel Card: Strength.
"I am alone and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same species and have the same defects. This being you must create." - Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1918).
"’In a fit of enthusiastic madness I created a rational creature and was bound towards him to assure, as far as was in my power, his happiness and well-being...I refused, and I did right in refusing, to create a companion for the first creature. He showed unparalleled malignity and selfishness in evil; he destroyed my friends...Miserable himself that he may render no other wretched, he ought to die. The task of his destruction was mine, but I have failed.’" - Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
Pigsy has problems and anything he does to relate to you, however negatively, to express himself in relation to you, to get your attention, whatever, is because he needs your help, peaceful, refined qualities he needs to develop. Perhaps that’s why he’s been brought to you - drawn by his Higher Self, escorted and arranged by the landlord and co, as if bringing a student to teach. He expresses his fucked up subconscious, especially when drunk and with his girlfriend. They’re in their late 40s and they might both be alcoholics. He’s volatile and undisciplined, weak, emotional. Like a patient - a clever one who was never locked away or put in a mental institution, but who has been brought to you because it requires healing/spiritual power. It is a job. It is a responsibility - like looking after your ailing old psychotic mother in the years leading to her death. [Retrospective note: Pigsy just wanted someone to take his shit out on and his father was probably a drunk and did that to him every day at home when he was younger so he is just blindly carrying on the family tradition because it gives him temporary relief from his troubles. Betty Perkins’ book, Lion Taming, includes a wonderful Aikido story of unconditional love calming a violent drunk and saving members of the public from further assaults (p.136)].
“The drunkard, learning his alphabet of the suffering caused by the dominance of the lower nature, is doing as usefully in his own stage as is the saint in his, completing his last lesson in earth’s school, and no more can justly be demanded from either than he is able to perform. One is in the kindergarten stage, learning by object-lessons, while the other is graduating, ready to leave his university; both are right for their age and their place, and should be helped and sympathised with IN THEIR PLACE. This is one of the lessons of what is known in occultism as ‘tolerance.’” - Annie Besant (The Ancient Wisdom, 1897).
A driver from Bangladesh in one of the cab companies I repped for was sent to collect Neil Morrissey was told he was picking up one of the guys in Men Behaving Badly. He responded gravely over his radio, ‘No, I don’t take man behaving badly,’ believing it was a drunken lout even though the collection point was a posh restaurant. Bless!
The signs of an intuitive empathy – notes from a talk by Dr. Judith Orloff MD (YouTube video).
1.You’ve been labelled overly sensitive all your life.
2.You go home to recharge your energy rather than recharging with other people. You need to be alone to recharge energy (and you also absorb the energy of others).
3.You are very sensitive to smells, excessive talking or loud sounds; for example, people talking loudly in your face.
4.You need to get away from people after 3 hours (a form of self-nurturing and a way to protect your energy).
You “need to protect your energy by nurturing these qualities and by learning to breathe out negativity. You have to let all the negativity out though the breath.” Another activity Dr. Orloff suggests is meditation as a centring process, just for a few minutes, to allow the negativity to leave your body. Set firm but kind boundaries for people so you don’t get overwhelmed by them. Use simple techniques of love and mindfulness so you don’t become overwhelmed by an insensitive world. Instead of using food to centre yourself, meditate for a couple of minutes, or breathe negative energy out. Water also helps to get rid of it, she says. (Judith is a psychiatrist at the University of California, in Los Angeles. Her beautiful energy and wealth of wisdom are immediately apparent. She is the author of Positive Energy and Guide to Intuitive Healing, published by Harmony).
There are three steps in the creative process, explains Abraham-Hicks. Firstly, we must ask. Secondly, the energy of Source answers the asking. Thirdly, we must be in receiving mode and allow and this is where our real work lies. In order to become a vibrational match for that which we want it is important that we do not attract what we do not want by focussing on that instead! Unless we attune our receiver to the same wavelength as the transmitter, says Abraham, we will not get a clear signal. When we can feel the alignment of our emotions with what we are continually asking for (we cannot stop asking, says Abraham, since the very contrast we experience in this world evokes the desire from us) there will no longer be any static interference. The path to manifestation will have been cleared.
“A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ‘I screwed your mom last night!’ Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, ‘Your mom was good in bed last night!’ Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ‘Dad, go home, you're drunk!’”