Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Monstaville Book II. Conclusion Part 2

Conclusion contd

As I said in the Introduction to this book, I hope that by sharing my experiences and insights, these memoirs might provide inspiration to those in similar situations and facing related problems. We cannot expect a government manual to be issued on this subject whilst denying the existence of such problems. We must connect and increase collective awareness by taking responsibility for our own lives as far as we are able to. We are all part of the human (and cosmic) family and, where there is darkness, we must shed light; where there is ignorance, we must bring truth; and, where there is animosity, we must expand our spirit in generosity but, again, to the degree to which we are able whilst also loving ourselves and feeling centred and knowing the contentment that is our right. You know, we don’t have to take any shit from anybody. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it is important to send a clear message that we’re not going to stand for others’ behaviour. Feelings of powerlessness are like stagnant rivers of emotions that need to be shifted somehow. So, we must find a way that works for us. We owe it to ourselves to be free and we must realise that the shift must be within ourselves first and foremost and that the other players in our lives are in place to teach us to move energy and allow feelings to flow freely. The world of duality is not going to disappear overnight but a new consciousness, an energy of love and unity, is emerging from within and slowly dissolving the density, in which we have been trapped for aeons of time. Love, awareness and creative intelligence are the new Sun on the horizon, the new Day, the new Golden Age.

“Now those who will talk of problems…but, indeed, as you start looking for the solutions, not in the old way, of the linear scope that you’ve always looked – begin at the beginning and find some logic – but, rather, in [an] exponential way, of reaching for the fact that, first of all, there is a solution. And, ‘my job is the curious one of discovering it.’ And as you will see your world as a global community for which you are partly and more so and increasingly responsible. And as you will see that the problems that seem unsolvable are simply problems to which solutions have not yet been considered and…start considering them. Then, in that you can feel that personal, wonderful gift of knowing that you have chosen to have the world be a more positive and a more loving place. And you can be very responsible and say to yourself, ‘I was partly responsible for this peace, for this wonder.” – Lazaris (channelled through Jach Pursel on The Merv Griffin Show, U.S., 25 July 1986).

The tiger has not had a chance to roar much in this present lifetime. It has been buried under an avalanche of childhood oppression and the subdued state that resulted. Unable to express power, I was conditioned to repress it, and became inhibited and not assertive enough. It was finally time to become conscious of all facets of myself, to become all that I could be. Knowing the dark aspects of ourselves, we are able to transform them, or balance them once there is sufficient awareness, love and Light…like entering the cave once we have found the torch. We can then see them for what they are and understand them, view them from a higher perspective, channel them positively and make use of them. Denying and repressing them means that they come out in other ways, particularly through other people via the resonance of our beliefs, attitudes, expectations, values, needs and desires, and so forth. The more unconscious these are the more negative they are likely to be. The more conscious, the more they are likely to be integrated with the complete beings we are becoming. Then, they are less likely to be expressed in isolation, or to pounce in reaction by themselves and either have to be retrained (repressed) or else cause more immediate mayhem. This resonance exists whether we like it or not. And, according to Lazaris, this truth has now shifted to the foreground as a result of the increased Light and is replacing the old 3D cause and effect paradigm. This means, he explains, that we are now in a position to create “Optimal Futures that you can lay in the pipeline sporadically or purposefully, because the future is now creating the present. You truly can walk away from the past, taking the gifts, the treasures and the power with you, because those belong to you. And then…let the past go.” (The Sirius Connection. A Workbook, NPN Publishing, Inc., FL., U.S., 1996, p.87-88). Our lives are both what we create consciously and what we allow by ignoring our unconscious patterns and drives because they exist too. They are energies that have an effect on our lives.

Holding onto our baggage suggests that we are being lazy or fearful and do not feel ready to deal with it or need a push to draw our attention to the creatures that are lurking in the dark or have been locked away somewhere. However, the increased energies on our planet are bringing these hidden, or stubborn, aspects of ourselves to the surface. Our learning process has accelerated. The preparation period is over. We are sitting our exams and are obliged to concentrate. We are free to walk out any time but if we want to enter the new world, we must do the best we can. We owe ourselves this much. We are being rehabilitated, reconfigured in our DNA and chakra system and given a golden opportunity to graduate to Light and join the cosmic community as co-creators. The projections that have been rife for so long cannot be replaced by a deepening richness and refinement of consciousness.

“In the past three years, I have found myself working more and more with DNA structure – sometimes quite unexpectedly. Whenever we change our beliefs, attitudes, desires or emotional patterns, it is far more powerful and lasting if we ask for that change to be absorbed into our DNA, since our DNA carries the blueprint for our future. Simply ask for it to happen and the process begins. Our DNA is not a fixed blueprint, but dynamic and ever-changing. Whatever we want to change about our health, our body, our lives, we simply have to ask – and wait for guidance. We have scarcely begun to glimpse the potential of our human consciousness.” - Gill Edwards (Stepping into the Magic. A New Approach to Everyday Life, Piatkus Books, London, U.K., 1993, p.128).

There is definitely a killer in me. We have all killed in previous lifetimes. It appears that this needed to be released through having it surface and making more mature, responsible loving choices. It is as though I have gone through different levels of an initiation – a learning experience - to surrender this part of myself to the Will of Heaven. It was there in my unconscious reacting when I had been provoked far enough. When Mars progressed to my Aquarian Ascendant (which progressed into Aries at the same time) at the age of 26, my ‘inner barbarian’ was reborn. Male aggression had been hidden from me like a tiger kept in a cage or living in a cave, growling in the background, unseen. I’d had a degree of psychic aggression but never considered myself remotely aggressive. I was gentle and quite docile, with placid, sensual Venus perched above my natal Ascendant like a bird of paradise, or like the vibrantly coloured plumage of a peacock produced from all the poisons it has ingested (it’s in Capricorn). I was a peaceful rebel, an artist. As an intuitive female friend told me at the time: ‘Perhaps you’re not as easygoing as you thought.’ The tiger was released back into the wild, but only as far as this reservation in which it could be carefully monitored and guided (from the spirit world). Ultimately, the goal of this operation has been inner harmony. I’m still a sensitive, kind person but now I walk with my tiger alongside me, out in the open. Together, we are more like a lone leopard, a black panther, living free without hurting anybody. There are occasions for self-restraint and there are those times when a bit of growling is needed. There’s also much friendly fun, too!

Being spiritually-inclined, I am keen to tame the tiger. Its power is needed but I have no desire to sink into an animal state and scrap with those who try to provoke it or whose own aggressive natures eventually awaken a rumble in the jungle of my unconscious. That ruthless, savage beast is there. I know because it has pounced on several occasions since living here. Most often it has pulled me to the ground and mauled me but increasingly, it has reacted to loud, aggressive or ill-meaning people more directly. [Retrospective note: The only reason people yell, explains St. Germain, is that they do not feel that they are heard and believe that if they raise their voices people will hear not only what they are saying but what is alive inside of them. Many people who don’t like others yelling, he says, yell to communicate this and attempt to drown it out with their own voice.] This, however, has most often been accompanied by consciousness, which is a bit like saying that the tiger has been moved from a cage in a zoo to a wildlife reservation. There, it has more space in which to roam but it is still prevented from causing anyone any harm. This park is known as ‘Wisdom.’ Yes, I’m older and wiser. Living in this flat has encouraged me to give the tiger some attention, to study it, to love and appreciate it, but, most importantly to give it direction through awareness. It feels like this is the reason for my moving to this place. I had unresolved issues, namely a tiger that had been kept in a cage for so long and which, if released into the wild, would have been free to follow its own nature and react unconsciously. Through increased awareness this power can be directed more consciously, creatively and positively. It is, after all, only a part of me.

This hidden aggression (which did not appear to be there before because it was crouched behind some bushes as it were, banished even) I expect, springs originally from fear and anger many lifetimes ago which set thought and behaviour patterns in motion leading to a vicious circle. Once you’re on the ride, on the tiger’s back as it were, you’re too involved in your illusion to listen to anyone who says, ‘Stop! Chill!’ You are driven by unconscious energies that keep your heart closed so your heart is not open enough to feel the unconditional love and eternal joy that you are in Reality, as God. The tiger has then been brought out into the open (in reaction to challenging experiences) for me to acknowledge its existence and let it go, let go of the past. This has been about bringing darkness, the repressed energies that the tiger represents to Light (into awareness) in order for energies to be released and dissolved. This is about learning not to hold on to emotions. I have been learning to let them out rather than keep them in, and channel them positively and creatively without being destructive either to myself or others, using such simple techniques as breathing, drinking water and applying awareness, love and imagination as well as welcoming assistance from Masters and angels on the inner planes who are only too keen to help. Looking back, the return of this tiger occurred during the first few years of moving to London. My troubles here brought a lot of anger to the surface and this inner anger then drew angry people into my life through the law of attraction I suppose. Holding on to that anger, identifying with it, could never improve the situation. It needed to surface and to be released. Consequently, these people came to reflect it on a daily basis to help me to see and acknowledge it and, potentially, release it and move on as well.

“Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.” - Caroline Myss.

There can be no doubt that I incarnated partly to become more in touch with my feelings in order to fuse love with power. My will had to be locked away for some years and then mastered once it was finally activated in this lifetime. Mikos, speaking from the Hollow Earth, assures us that living in peace, having the intention of living peacefully with each other, is the secret to immortality. We need only make up our minds, he says, and the Universe will support this intention. A commitment. “Yes, our cells radiate our Light and it is very visible to the eyes,“ he explains. “Once you are living in a peaceful state on the surface, you too will be radiating this Light from within your cells, and this light will encompass all around you and you will Light up the surface for all to witness.” We must be the peace we wish to create and spread it to everyone around us, advises Mikos. If we play this part well all our dreams come true. “So dream your life away…it is the quickest route to Immortality.” (

The rebellious Monkey King is released from his incarceration under the mountain that Buddha threw onto him because, by this time, the gentle, kind and peaceful monk was ready to make his pilgrimage to bring back the sacred scrolls to China and civilise the country of consciousness. The will is an essential part of every human being, but it tends, by its very nature, to want to run wild. It has its own sense of justice! It must, however, abide by the compassion represented by Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy. Ultimately, it must learn to obey the higher will, the Will of Heaven. It is its separation from its very own essence as creative Being, as God, that keeps consciousness in a disorderly and fragmented state. The gluttonous Pig Monster, equally savage, is but a lower reflection of the eternal abundance of the Self. And, the negative Fish Monster is but the emotions which are a lower reflection of our deeper feelings. All are held together by the monk’s love, by the Higher Self who is determined to succeed in returning home with the scriptures; that is, achieving enlightenment in the physical vehicle on Earth and liberating, harnessing and transforming these wayward aspects of ourselves and returning all to Light. The monk lives by the principles of love and chooses forgiveness and peace over war. Yet, his three companions have been placed into his care because they are vital to the success of his holy mission. He cannot afford to repress emotions, forsake passion, forget about expressing power or deny the need to take action when necessary. These aspects of oneself are unified and focused creatively and wisely when they are accompanied by consciousness and centred in love.

“The totality of spirit has no opposite because it embraces everything. To choose the second path, you have to be willing to renounce your struggle against evil. This is the way of the wizard. There is no doubt that when we see evil we react with fear and anger. From this reaction struggle is born, and because people want evil to go away, the struggle seems to be legitimate. But what if fear and anger are the cause of evil? What if our reactions keep breeding the same cycle, which never ends? With these questions the second way was born. It isn’t that struggle is wrong, that we must submit to evil.  But the end of evil is a serious matter, and wizards have stepped into the arena of discussion to propose that an end is possible, albeit not through the means we have used for so long.” - Deepak Chopra (The Way of the Wizard. 20 Spiritual Lessons For Creating The Life You Want, Rider Books, London, U.K., 1995, p.127).

When I resolved to ask my Higher Self what this is all about, what I am supposed to be learning, the following thoughts surfaced:

One thing I have observed, increasingly, is that I have been learning to react, not stop reacting...or at least not to suppress the reaction. This is because many years of self-repression had buried my power. This release from captivity is accompanied by lessons of love and responsibility. It’s like a spark that set light to one’s unconscious reserves of gas (emotion) and causes destruction within if it repressed and to others if permitted to explode. I have been discovering wise, appropriate and harmless ways to respond, intelligent strategies as a relatively effective statements or deterrents. It is not so much about the situations themselves. These are simply the learning tools. It is more about finding ways to channel tension and emotions without causing harm to oneself or others.

So, really, I have learned to allow the flames to surface and be released. Not simply to let the energy to explode blindly as unbridled power. Not a show of weakness but of strength. Not simply unconscious but consciously allowing the inner emotions to come out and letting them go, acknowledging them but, like the older and wiser parent, knowing which actions are required. This is preferable to simply feeling fear and considering what to do. The child is fearful and the adult is in control but not repressive. The child’s fear is destructive to self and/or others. If the adult does nothing then that insecurity is all there is so the adult must be strong and wise and make conscious and creative decisions, be patient or take decisive action, when the need arises or when appropriate.

“Try to hate somebody consciously and you will find it impossible. Either consciousness disappears, then you can hate; or if you are conscious, hate disappears. They can't exist together. Light and darkness cannot exist together, because darkness is nothing but the absence of light.” – Osho.

We ought to honour the Light of our higher natures since that is the Eternal Being and Reality. The negative ego is but a learning phase, a kind of adolescent growth of part of ourselves, a stage that we grow out of in order to move on. I’m having to face and deal with my shadow because, up till now, I have denied and disowned it. It is the only way to become whole. We move beyond duality by balancing polarities in this realm. We do this by loving ourselves layer-by-layer, starting with those which are right before our eyes but we have been refusing to see. Loving that which we may not like transforms it and opens us up to deeper layers of ourselves. By loving what we are in our present state of consciousness, however limited it may be, we warm and expand it to reveal deeper layers of ourselves – to ourselves. We find more of ourselves; we know more of ourselves; we express more of our potential; we have more to share with the world; and the more we have to share the more love can flow, the more of our true nature as the Creative Source we can be consciously and the more joyous we can be.

By loving rather than judging ourselves, or our negative ego, we are able to see beyond the wall, the boundary, of our limited ego identity. When we realise how rich and beautiful we really are, how divinely majestic, we celebrate who we are and we shine in all directions just like the Sun itself. Indeed, just like God – as God, that which we Are. We develop a more expansive awareness of ourselves, a deeper sense of identity, which can be termed the higher ego, the positive one which is rooted in divine Reality. If we are to look up at the sky of oneness we cannot avoid looking at what is before us as we raise our vision. To avoid the dark we must look sideways at the equally finite and illusory light. We then identify with it and stand in opposition to the dark, to that which we do not wish to see. We are stuck in duality and forget that we came here to raise our sights to the heavens, to look up at the big blue sky and know the Sun, the Source of all being.

“From behind the mask of negative ego, you want to make loving difficult so you can justify and rationalise the lack of it in your life. After all, in your Faustian relationship with your negative ego, you have convinced yourself that if you let it run your life, it will deliver everything. Negative ego never delivers love. The only thing it does deliver is unkept and broken promises. It never delivers love. ’Where is the love?’ you ask, and your ego tells you how hard – how impossible – it is. Your negative ego tells you how much love hurts. When you find out just how available love really is, you either want to deny it completely as you protect your negative ego’s position – or you feel so stupid for having shut love out for so long that you do not think you deserve it now. Either way, you (not your ego) lose. When you discover how easy it is, do not run away. Do not punish yourself. Do not postpone it any longer. Start loving!” – Lazaris (channelled through Jach Pursel, The Sacred Journey. You and your Higher Self, NPN Publishing Inc., FL., U.S., 1987, p.109).

When we accept and trust our emotions we are able to tap into the wealth of feeling beyond them. Similarly, I believe, when we see and acknowledge the ego, or lower self, for what it is, our awareness can be raised to a higher level so that we may know the Higher Self to some degree. We deny that which we do not wish to look at in ourselves because we are reluctant to let go of who and what we think we are or want to be without having to change and become more of ourselves. We must love ourselves fully on all levels. The shadow that follows us around can then be illumined if we manage to eventually integrate and transform this part of us into who and what we really are and who and what we are becoming.

I have slowly learned that my troubles have not been about other people but about how I manage my own emotions and reactions. It is being done by a higher part of myself which has not been separated from our Creator, or which is more highly evolved. The ego is stuck in the middle between the spirit (Higher Self) and the soul (or Inner Child). During my trials the Self, and the Will of Heaven (represented by Pluto), was applying pressure to my Inner Child (Moon) so much that my ego had to learn to deal with this pressure in a better way. My attention was brought to the need to express emotions, to consciously feel, and then to clarify my intentions and take appropriate action if required, rather than oppressing or being at the mercy of repressed energies. Pluto has facilitated (or represented) a slow release of the tiger. It was too powerful and dangerous to be let out all at once. Stripe-by-stripe, starting with the tiger’s tail, this concentrated but buried energy has been transmuted. By the time it reached the head, with the accelerated energies here, St. Germain appeared ‘as if from nowhere’ and stood fearlessly and lovingly before the tiger to confront it and finally bid it farewell. These illusory features, the sharp teeth and glaring eyes, were released back into the wild, returned to oblivion from whence they came, accompanied by some cathartic roaring.

With the movement of my Ascendant, by progression, into Aries at the age of 26, and the subsequent entry of my progressed Mars, into the First House in my birth chart, an old warrior friend had returned to stir up some trouble and make me more driven, more active and dynamic. But, first there would be a period of tension and strife as I slowly integrated this masculine energy into my unfolding character. My move to London was a direct result of this new, dynamic Martian energy and Mars is still prominent now. This scenario is reminiscent of the sudden appearance of Captain Kirk’s old foe, Finegan, the Irish man who is always picking on him and starting fights in ‘Shore Leave’ (Episode 15, 1966). He says to Captain Kirk, “You never know when I’m going to strike you. Huh Jim?” Embracing Kirk’s shoulders, he then laughs wildly and suddenly punches the captain in the jaw. Still laughing, Finegan beckons Captain Kirk to fight him: “Come on, come on. It’s me, Finegan. Alright Jimmy boy…” [more crazy laughter]. “Go ahead. Lay one on me - because that’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” He laughs again, egging the captain on. “Come on, come on.” More laughter. “Come on, come on.” Finegan resembles the planet Mars (astrologically) stirring up trouble for the Sun (Kirk), challenging the ego to grow through the stimulation of antagonism.

Dr. McCoy has beamed down to a paradise of a planet with a few colleagues to find out if it would be a suitable place for other crew members to spend some time relaxing. Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock join them when violence rears its ugly head despite the beautiful environment. It later turns out that this ‘bizarre planet of dangerous illusions’ was created by a highly evolved race as a holiday resort for fun and adventure. Once they learn that they can experience anything they want just by thinking about it the crew of the Starship Enterprise decide it’s an ideal recreation spot. All they have to do is think of what they do want and avoid dwelling on those experiences from the past which they do not want to repeat. On Earth, whether we find ourselves in beautiful or ugly, serene or hostile, surroundings, it is vital not to give too much attention to those people and situations we do not wish to keep in our lives.

For me, this episode of Star Trek not only prophesies the awakening of humanity from its sleep of ignorance and unconsciousness to the truth of conscious creation but also shows that we, as individuals, learn to be more vigilant with regard to what we are thinking and giving our attention to once we realise how powerful our thoughts are. If we wish to enjoy quality of life, we must quit the habit of allowing negative thoughts such as worrying, reacting, fearing and even tempting fate by daydreaming of incidents that, although we may desire them on some level, might be more dangerous for us if they were to manifest physically right before our eyes. Such content in the mind resists the flow of eternal joy and abundance like clouds blocking out the Sun. Instead, we ought to focus on what we do want, as Abraham teaches.

You can be spontaneous when you drop this trip of the ego. When you say I am like I am - bad then bad, good then good. I am just as God made me. I will not needlessly put on a veil and hide myself…Expose yourself exactly as you are within. Then you will be spontaneous. Drop your fear. What's the fear? That people think badly of you? What is the harm? If people won't pay attention to you, will not respect you, what is lost? What do you get from their respect?” - Osho.

It is because not enough human beings think positively or express power consciously and direct it positively that the more selfish, aggressive people get away with so much. We have created a vacuum in which wild savages and greedy, violent and manipulative criminals have take control of our lives. We need to raise the sword of creative will, to dance with it elegantly and integrate it in harmony with other aspects of our characters. We need to understand how to use this sword effectively and skilfully so that, whatever comes along, we are mindful and either consciously keep it in its sheath or consciously use it in battle when challenged and we feel we have no choice but to engage (to my mind, selfish, loud or aggressive behaviour is a challenge on some level). It is necessary to avoid harming our own spirit by preserving our own integrity. With wisdom and compassion, love and awareness, the sword of power moves swiftly and gracefully in accordance with the principle of achieving maximum effect using the least amount of effort. We may then disarm other people without hurting them. As with most of this book, I am speaking more of psychological conflict, of battle between minds, for which it is vital to draw upon the strength of our spirit. In essence, all that exists and takes place on a physical level is symbolic of threads of consciousness on more subtle levels.

Caine (David Carradine): Master, I do not understand all that has happened.
Master Kan (Philip Ahn): No one knows all. We were challenged by a festering anger. The challenge was accepted and, in the end, the seeds of hatred destroyed themselves as they always do, as they always will.
Master Po (Keye Luke): Battles are waged on the Earth and in the heavens, within the mind and within the soul. This battle has been won.
- Kung Fu (Season Three, Episode 8, ‘The Devil’s Champion,’ 1974).

We may come up against champions of physical strength, cunning and dexterity who, through their weaknesses, are manipulated or possessed by dark forces bent on opposing the Light. It is through such ordeals that our spiritual strength is tested and our wisdom stretched. And it is love which balances power and wisdom by centring us in Light and conquering anger and fear within us.

"What is needed is a realisation that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love." - Martin Luther King Jr.

We may have to be patient and loving, and practice wisdom in action, because our efforts may not be a ‘permanent solution’ but simply a natural response. Being passive, doing nothing and allowing people to walk over us is not ‘going with the flow.’ This isn’t about allowing people to be abusive or about accepting selfish behaviour. Taking appropriate action with love, faith, courage, honesty and confidence is an important part of life. But, so too is forgiving, relaxing, playing, laughing, being patient and compassionate and rising above lower vibrations. It’s called a balanced perspective. Using our intuition and reason, feeling and understanding, we may see people’s projections for what they are.

Our experiences teach us self-mastery. This has been one process, one lesson, in my own ongoing journey towards self-mastery. Owing to indirect communication, this has been a purely internal process. It has also assisted me in dealing with people more directly as result of adjusting my own attitudes and understanding, changing my own consciousness. Such changes are not easily defined or explained, but a journal is, I believe, a good place to start.

One reason it is important to reflect on these issues now is that the quickening energies could cause volatile behaviour and reactions in some people who have not been gradually prepared and for whom negative emotions may surface dramatically. It is possible that this is the primary reason that I have been inspired to share my experiences and insights in this book at this time. When we are conscious of our actions we can minimise the drama and avoid hurting others. This subject is worthy of our attention and contemplation as we move towards increasing love and Light. Let us all love more, play more, laugh more and endeavour to ‘live lightly on the Earth plane.’

“There is a wave of Light reaching over the world, the collective realisation that love is the only reality. Simply accept this place as home. In your physical incarnation, you have made the promise and have now the obligation to hold the Light of compassion, understanding and joy, to restore Heaven on Earth…The wave of golden Light rises up through the chakras of each soul and the Earth’s soul as the spirits obtain clarity of the connection and agreement to channel energy of the Golden Sun into manifested experience.” – From a GoldRing video (

Time is being compressed and manifestation is occurring faster and faster, apparently. Consequently, if we do not let go of our fears, more negative experiences may manifest in our lives. Realisations arrive more quickly too which is the whole point. Ultimately, we must learn to master our thoughts, our emotions and responses. The time of self-awakening is here. Each of us has an unprecedented opportunity to raise our frequencies and attain a higher state of consciousness where we are free from turmoil and limitation and know greater peace and joy as the beings of Light that we truly are. It is particularly important to gain control of our minds, allow our feelings to flow and direct our thoughts with positive intent, to trust in life and know that love is the energy which connects us to our divine selves as well as to the universal community. We are all extensions of one Creative Source.

As for me, perhaps I’m just a renegade soul here to ruffle a few feathers and shift some energy both within myself and others. I present this book with the intent of reaching out to other renegades and widening the ripples of love, truth, freedom and self-empowerment as the old paradigm of fear and frustration and feelings of helplessness start to recede in our world.


Millions of souls to whom the Pleiadians refer as “renegades of Light” have returned to Earth to “stage another raid of consciousness” because working with the energy of Source was likely to provide a boost to everyone’s consciousness. We are anchoring cosmic energy in our bodies and those who like drama cannot help but be affected; they react, causing light to spread. We are working closely with the Original Planners, they say, to take back this world form the raiders. Light on this planet increases as more of us remember who we Are. The Pleiadians say that we came to Earth as a challenge to create harmonic defiance. In other words, through our inner harmony we would defy the old world (which relies on identification with external discord) and its vibrational frequency. They say that friction is being caused with other people because they are not coded for this impulse to actively evolve and bloom at this time, or even at all in some cases. Consequently, they are resistant to the way we are responding to and participating in this great frequency change. (Bringers of the Dawn. Teachings from the Pleiadians by Barbara Marciniak, Bear & Company, Inc., Santa Fe, New Mexico, US, 1992, p.52-53 and 114-115).

Ahh…deep breath. Let it all go. Place your right hand over your heart and just feel. All of the pain is caused by the mind. Love is life. Love is you and love is me. As St. Germain says, we are inside, not outside, our true selves, and we are all inside each other because we are all love and we are all one. ‘All I see is a part of me,’ as he likes to remind us. Only love remains because only love doesn’t change. Love is.

Monstaville has been something of a purge. I can see that, as I developed my philosophical mind over the years, I became more and more confined to my mind. To say that I feel like a kind of prisoner where I live and that this is a reflection of having become a prisoner of my own mind is probably closer to the truth than I imagine. It could well be that I needed to experience this descent into self-sabotage in order to understand the true value of the heart. Contrast can be incredibly awakening. Never before have I appreciated what it is to feel to such a degree. Never before have I felt such gratitude for everything. Never before have I understood how much I am in love with everyone, with humanity! Deep down, each of us is in love with humanity because we are expressions of the One God/Goddess.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“Anything that you give your attention to will become your ‘truth.’ The Law of Attraction says that it must. Your life and everyone else’s too is but a reflection of the predominance of your thoughts. There is no exception to this.” – Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.87).

I have no enemies. I’ve never had any enemies. It was all in my mind. I am even in love with my neighbours, even with the Pig Monster! Perhaps that is why I gave him such an affectionate, humorous name. Everything comes from the heart because that is where the true mind and the Light of our Being resides. Look at it this way: whatever is in our lower mind is projected onto life like shadows on a wall, obstructing – or distracting our attention from - the Light of the heart. The shadows are illusions, not the reality. They show us our limitations and, ultimately, remind us to enter our hearts again because chasing those shadows on the wall never leads to happiness. Yet, lifetime after lifetime, we get caught up in the world of shadows. Round and round we go, chasing our tails. Round and round we go, trying to jump on them, trying to catch them, losing ourselves, forgetting who we really are. Round and round and round…feeling so dizzy! Yet, what a bounty of love is here in our world now. Do not look at the world with your mind. Much pain is being released and that is why we see only misery. A new day is dawning, a return to love, and to freedom and happiness. Feel the call. Respond to the love of the Ascended Masters, to the love of Sai Baba, to the love of the many great beings who have come to assist in our return to Light, to the love of God/Goddess/All that is. Open and receive. Feel it and be it. Reach into your pocket and you will find the return ticket there. We each have one. We are all being called. ‘Come, let us help you to remember who you are,’ they say. ‘We are love and You are love. We are Masters and you are Masters.’

St. Germain jokes that, when we do not live from our hearts, the mind makes a mess and the heart says, ‘OK, you make a mess if you want and then I will come and clear it up.’ My heart has a lot of clearing up to do! It’s wonderful! Spring cleaning is inspired by the energy of the Sun. We feel motivated to take action, to live more fully again. We enjoy getting our lives back in order. It is an external symbol for the birth within. It is really inside ourselves that the cleaning process is taking place. We are ready to live in the moment, to embrace to dawn and move forward into the Light, to live our lives from within just as the flowers start opening to release their beauty and fragrance into the world. Accepting and witnessing are the same, says St. Germain. They are an appreciation for the beauty that is beyond opinion, beyond judgement.

(We don't need) We don't need trouble…
Seek happiness!...Oh...!
Come on, you all and speak of love...Oh, yeah!

We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love, now (what we need is love!)
(We don't need) Oh, we don't need no more trouble!

- Bob Marley (‘No More Trouble,’ 1972, from the album Catch a Fire).

Yes, there are and have been disturbances but perhaps I placed them there to remind myself to feel more. Perhaps they have been trying to bring down the prison wall. I’ve heard them outside and when I have looked out of the window I have freaked out because they keep setting up the dynamite right next to me. I protest when they ignite the fuse and do whatever I can to extinguish it. For, to be sure, I cannot tolerate such violence and I am not obliged to allow it. However, I also do not have to react solely with my mind either. These assaults are reminders that I need to feel the love that is always there in my heart. Yes, I put out the fuse but I also thank the perpetrators for reminding me to feel, to love, to be. And, slowly, as I devote myself to being centred in my heart, I can feel the prison walls crumbling. Handfuls of dust fall to the ground here and there. It’s a bit scary! Returning home to love, to true being, is scary. Why? Because all the pain inside us is released and we feel it as it surfaces. When people cry they are releasing the pain. Remembering, feeling, the pain as it comes out can either prompt a bout of self-pity and therefore more misery or it can be celebrated as the return to joy, and to love, that it is. Laugh or cry. Release the emotions. Free your mind.

This is a neighbour conflict, a civilian war, a modern war that is taking place in homes around the world. It is therefore not a war that can be won by either side because neither can go to physical extremes only mental and psychological extremes. Therefore, no one can win outright and the aggressors are always free to launch another round of attacks for whatever fucked up reason after they have seemingly tired of a few months (or weeks) of peace - it not really being in their capacity to appreciate peace time for too long since they are then faced with themselves, the source of their fucked up projections!

"At the end of the talk someone from the audience asked the Dalai Lama, 'Why didn't you fight back against the Chinese?' The Dalai Lama looked down, swung his feet just a bit, then looked back up at us and said with a gentle smile, 'Well, war is obsolete, you know.' Then, after a few moments, his face grave, he said, 'Of course the mind can rationalise fighting back...but the heart, the heart would never understand. Then you would be divided in yourself, the heart and the mind, and the war would be inside you.'” (

Right, so no one can win. The name of the game, the goal, is to stay on top of the situation using whatever methods that come to mind and do not eclipse one’s conscience. ‘Staying on top’ means, essentially, not letting the bastards grind you down, not allowing others to seriously disturb your peace of mind or quality of life. And, this requires that one employ both direct and tactical measures, subtle and tangible, passive and assertive, always seeking the truth of what will be the most effective deterrent, always intending to know what action to take or inner resource to draw upon in order to maintain one’s own equilibrium and sanity. Adapt or die. Increase your awareness and strategic capability or remain powerless and allow the ‘enemy’ (not a word one ought to use really since it reinforces the illusion of duality and separation) to slowly, even imperceptibly, destroy you from the inside out. And in a perfectly legitimate way too! ‘Oh, me? I have a cough!’ ‘There’s no law against walking around in shoes.’ Whatever.

“An essential aspect of any civilisation's progress out of third density is experiencing duality; realising that its divisiveness prevents living peacefully; and ultimately reconciling differences harmoniously within communities, countries and internationally. By so doing, the peoples advance in soul growth sufficiently to enter fourth density. The intensifying light has been bringing about this realisation - conscious-raising and spiritual renewal - and it will continue to do so until the last vestiges of duality end in global reconciliation.” - Matthew (channelled through Suzanne Ward, 6 November 2010,

Since committing myself to the Cosmic Ascension process at the end of 2008, I have realised that this is about staying on top of one’s own negative emotions. That includes raising one’s vibration and feeling generally positive and happy(ish) by doing things one enjoys, by having fun, by dancing, by laughing, by being creative and purposeful in one’s life as well as sharing love with people be they close friends or complete strangers, or somewhere in between. One is then less likely to be affected by negative vibes from outside. It also entails releasing the tension and negative emotions as they surface through breathing, through feeling, through shouting, using the violet transmuting flame, asking for help from angels or guides or whatever works best for us.

“If anything happens in your life which you would prefer didn’t, you catch it quickly and ask, ‘How does this serve ascension?’ Once you find out, the situation generally changes very quickly.” – Serapis (channelled through Tony Stubbs, An Ascension Handbook, World Tree Press, Lithia Springs, GA, U.S., 1991, p.75-76).

We must be mindful of the likelihood that these circumstances have been placed there specifically to trigger these emotions and provide an opportunity to release them. It is kind of like a tap. Imagine that there is a rusty tank containing old, mucky water sitting there in lives past that was left behind with all the emotional bodies we had. Disruptive external events can create enough pressure to turn on the tap. In other words, someone is reaching into our kitchen and trying to turn on the tap. We can prevent them from doing so because it is our choice to open up and release some of the water, the negative emotions that fester within us, in the tank in the loft of our unconscious (all that we have conveniently forgotten, dumped or denied). But, then we do not release any of the water and we are avoiding the taps ourselves because we do not want to know what’s in the tank. We might blame the plumbing but even calling in the plumber (therapist) might not help much because the problem runs deeper than the pipes and the tank is hard to access. Also, the plumber might just not have trained for that level of catharsis or it might require too many visits making it unaffordable.

It is not the pipes but the tank that has rusted and needs clearing out and cleaning up or replacing if at all possible. Since we are either reluctant or unable to turn on the taps and face and release all this mucky water ourselves, we have, on a higher level of ourselves, arranged, or ‘conspired,’ for someone to play the role of devil’s advocate, provocateur extraordinaire! Their proximity gives them access to our taps somehow. They seem to know exactly what kinds of noises trigger them, what kind of pressure is required to turn them from the neighbouring residence. Such proximity allows them access to our psychic space since they share it intimately unless they are highly conscious and creative and centred in expressing their own individual purpose and identity without concerning themselves with what others are doing, might be thinking or how bad they want them to feel so they feel better about themselves for a few moments of deluded self-righteous satisfaction. They might seek drama as a source of emotional excitement to either stir up their tedious existence or stimulate them in negative ways to which they are addicted and simply cannot resist if the opportunity is there. Perhaps, indeed, they enjoy indulging themselves by turning on their own taps on a regular basis even though it is not safe to do so because there is nothing to contain the mucky water.

The more obstinately ignorant a person is the more wilful is their resistance to truth, the more instantly dismissive they are and the more insistent they are that messengers of truth are themselves ignorant. No doubt any drama is better to them than the composure and inner reflection which allows truth to settle and be digested. The reason is that once the door to truth opens there is no turning back. And one who is rooted heavily to the spot, weighed down by density, devoid of depth, knows unconsciously at least that when self-transformation does eventually occur, the colossal upheaval will be painful indeed. They believe, for the purpose of self-protection, that it must be postponed indefinitely. For, everything shall be turned on its head and they will have to be reborn and start all over again from a place of innocence and openness like small children. How humiliating that must be for someone who prided themselves on knowing everything as an adult. Alas, just being a human adult does not mean one knows anything at all. And, since consciousness is everything, there is no end to learning, or inner-tuition.

“People have a habit of inventing fictions they will believe wholeheartedly in order to ignore the truth they cannot accept.” - Libba Bray (The Sweet Far Thing).

As with my current upstairs neighbour, they might be using a shower attachment in a bath that has not been properly sealed around the edges. They neither no nor care what effect they are having on the poor fellow living below. They simply turn on the taps and don’t look consciously at what they are doing or they are doing it on purpose, hoping to dump their own tank of negative emotions onto someone else. It is probably a bit of both, an unconscious desire to offload and a semi-conscious allowance to relieve themselves at someone else’s expense on a regular basis. Like they have assigned their very own therapist to take all the crap they have inside themselves. ‘Here, you can have it,’ as St. Germain says. The idea is to purge ourselves of negative emotions completely, to face and brave the flood of emotions and release them, accept them, allow them, breathe them, observe them, transmute them using spiritual tools and love them if possible and send them on their way.

Eventually, the old mucky water that built up in the past will have been released and fresh water will start pouring into the tank and course through the pipes whenever we wish and choose to access it. Pure feeling, refreshing clarity and the sweetness of love. For, it will then be worth our while installing a water filter to have those feelings pour first through a clear and loving heart. Smiles all round. ‘Feeling is healing,’ as St. Germain says.

“For those of you who are experiencing the increasing vibrations in adverse ways, we would like to remind you that only resistance causes suffering. Surrender yourself completely to what is and you will be free to experience what’s next on the upward spiral of your personal evolution. When you hold on to fear, doubt, uncertainty or frustration, conflict ensues. Any lingering feelings of strife must be released in every now moment to make way for more love, more light, more joy, more creativity, more laughter, more freedom and more fulfilment.
                In these rapidly moving energies, it is vital to realise that you have increasing power in each moment to shift your perspective to a place of peace. Release what was, embrace what is, and know that what will be is always your choosing. You have always the creator of your reality...
                Beloved warriors, there is a dynamic and multidimensional playing field that is opening up for you to explore. The height of your creative imagination will begin to soar as never before and you may find that arbitrary moments of bliss overcome you in an instant. These increasing levels of electromagnetic energy will wash over each grounded and clear vessel of divine love as waves of joy and inspiration that consequently fill you up and tantalise your newly developed senses as you become whole again, satiated, and fulfilled in deeper and more profound ways.
                This wholeness is here with you now, within your reach, and we encourage you to focus on and feel the entrance of divine love enter your lives and bodies. Be astute, for everything in your reality will soon shift to serve you, so much so that you may not even recognise the clothes you wear! As the true you, the authentic you, bleeds through your new self-created hologram, you will change in ways you never dreamed so.
                Embrace these changes with a full heart, for you are becoming multidimensional beings of light capable to simultaneously express a multitude of divine gifts.
                Are you beginning to understand the level of joy that you are coming to know?”
- Metatron (channelled through Lauren C. Gorgo, ‘Emerging from the Cocoon, Embracing Divine Love,’ 14 August 2009,

A magical awakening is taking place inside me and a magical awakening is taking place inside humanity. Thank you for being you.

“As a Zen Master said, ‘Nothing is left to you at this moment but to have a good laugh.” - Alan Watts (The Way of Zen, Thames & Hudson, London, U.K., 1957).

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