Thursday, 25 June 2015

Monstaville Book III. Chapter 12


"No man made a greater mistake than the man who did nothing, because he could only do a little." - Edmund Burke.

“But I've spent so much time judging myself for my feelings - judging myself, condemning myself, buying into the lies, trying to come up with some other explanation - other than the one that holds him accountable (at the very least, 50%),” says a friend of mine about her ex-husband, from whom she needs to claim child support for the sake of her children. She has finally made an appointment with a ‘mean’ lawyer! “I'm always turning things around on myself. Especially anger...causes depression. So acknowledging the anger might not equal spiritual nirvana, but neither does not acknowledging the anger that's all ready there and turning it on myself and trying to mask it somehow (mostly unconscious).” She says she keeps making excuses for not taking legal action. “I keep saying ‘oh, this is not the spiritual answer...or that is not're just reinforcing being a victim’ and the next thing I know I've got no support, no help, no friends and no motivation - repressed pain (all of which, of course, is entirely up to me to be willing to change) AND nothing's been resolved AND I’m not getting any child support at all. Seems stupid. And a horrible example to set for my daughters. Me, allowing this.”

She said she is growing her ‘balls’ back after several years in a stifling marriage! I replied, ‘Haha...well, tigresses don't have balls but no one fucks with them! It IS natural for women to be powerful too you know! And particularly when you have suffered and been humbled in your life and have become stronger and is really we who are the ones whom the world needs to express power responsibly. Perhaps we can't become leaders in the usual sense - but perhaps we can in our own way - but we don't have to be victims either.’

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln.

"Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. If you think you are a hostage or a prisoner in your life, that is how you will begin to behave. As Buddha said, ‘Whatever you think - so shall you become.’" - Jaye Morris, Curator.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Power and rights are spiritual too! Allowing people to walk all over us doesn't help anyone. It simply perpetuates the powerlessness in the collective unconscious for egoists to exploit and abuse. It empowers patriarchy and it’s time to put that beast to sleep. When we suppress anger it tends to build up and torment us from within even though we might not be conscious of the source of our discontentment. It can come to resemble a hyena, prowling around in a pack of other suppressed emotions. It steals our peace of mind, feed on our energy and jumps on us aggressively later. It's best to express the energy positively and constructively at the time so the feelings are channelled, not lurking inside waiting to cause mayhem or lead to depression.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson.

Some women seem to feel that if they take action to defend their rights, or whatever, they are identifying with their troubles and therefore breathing life into them. Acknowledging anger does not mean that one is generating it. There is a reason for it and, by being conscious of the more negative emotion stirring inside ourselves, it is possible to use it as a cue for positive thought and action. It is signalling us that we need to do something or focus our intent on an area of our lives, a situation that needs to be resolved. The key in the ignition is turned and unless we are accustomed to driving we will simply sit there along and feeling frustrated, revving the engine in despair and just making a lot of noise and burn up the fuel. Meanwhile, ‘Hot Rod Henry’ is whizzing past with a wave and a wry smile. How did Penelope Pitstop in Wacky Races get her name? Her pink racing car doubles as a beauty salon and perhaps she is too relaxed about the race. She might not be in it to win. Other contestants - especially Peter Perfect, who has a crush on her - are always stopping to help her out of difficulty.

“If everyone on your planet were connected to their own Source Energy, there would be no assaults, for there would be no jealousy, insecurity or uncomfortable feelings of competition. If everyone understood the power of their own Being, they would not seek to control others. Any feelings of insecurity and hatred are born from our disconnection with who-you-are. Your (selfish) connection with Well-Being would bring only Well-Being.” - Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.150).

It is not necessary for a woman to act like a man to win the game of life. It is also not necessary for a man to be an ‘arrogant pig’ (as my friend refers to her ex!) to pull through either. It is, however, vital that we express our potential as unique and powerful individuals. We should all be like tall flames dancing together, or rays of light emanating from the one Sun. By failing to express ourselves, whether on an inner or outer level, we are not doing justice to either the fire or the Sun themselves. Light is our essential nature and it both wants to shine on the world and to illumine personal and collective consciousness. The more we limit ourselves, the more ‘wooden’ we allow ourselves to be, the more power we give away, so that even the spitting fury of the spark affects us - and, of course, it targets those over whom it can feel a sense of power. The spark is growing in its own way, at its own pace. So, too, is the flame that is neglecting to burn some of the wood, leaving it in an inert, unconscious state. It’s a wake-up call to illumine and empower part of our consciousness that is holding us back.

If we simply shrug our negative reactions off, and dismiss them by criticising ourselves for being negative (or ‘unspiritual’), all we are doing is repressing those emotions. We are leaving them to fester, throwing another snake into the pit of our unconscious minds. We are giving Indiana Jones a greater challenge, stacking the odds up against the conscious mind. Sooner or later, we will have to face the music and dance! It is our own weaknesses, not the outer world, and not other people, that we are learning to survive and overcome. ‘My God, life is so cruel to throw me in this snake pit,’ we exclaim in horror. Well, they’re our snakes! And they are there to teach us a lesson that we need to learn if we are to move on and become the powerful and wise co-creators we are destined to be. Of course...some of these snakes are old and we have forgotten how they got there. They represent poison from the past, even past lives, yet they are waiting for us to be bold and strong enough to take them on and demonstrate the creative power God within us. They are opportunities for growth for the adventurer in search of ancient wisdom.

“The masculine is more of a doing, thinking, focussed energy while the feminine is a connecting, intuitive, feeling energy. As a culture, we are sadly out of balance. We have too much masculine, which gives rise to a stunted feminine nature. The masculine has dominated the feminine for so long now that what we end up with are unconscious feelings, over-blown emotions, ignored intuition. In human terms, women try to be like men or women try to control the men in their lives. Too much masculine leads to men not listening to their own feelings or to the women in their lives. Hello? Do you know anyone who has a balanced, respectful partnership of equals? If you do, you are blessed!...If we really want to re-balance, we need to let our feminine spirit teach us the wisdom of the unity of all life.” - Cathy Pagano (‘The Sacred Marriage: Venus and Mars Unite in the Depths,’ 21 April 2009,

Perhaps, in a matriarchy or more earthly, tribal community, such needs are naturally taken care of because the structure of society maintains order. The System in our capitalist democracies is designed to maintain power in the hands of the few. It is therefore easily abused by the smarter and stronger predators among us. Together they - the System and selfish, greedy people - conspire to ‘manipulate, control and oppress’ us (my friend’s words). However, it also serves to ‘help those who help themselves’ and who stand up for themselves (and for truth). The more people do this the more individuality can take centre stage. We are all ‘gods in the making’ and our salvation relies on this realisation. Unless we exercise our freedom, we empower others to control our lives. St. Germain says the negative aspect of the masculine principle is control. Self-will resists. ‘I am right.’ So one is not open to change. Ego does not choose love because it is not open to growth since, when there is growth, it then it expands and is no more a separate identity. St. Germain cleared the right side of our bodies by hugging each of us individually, probably because the masculine side is overemphasised through fear and we need to work more on the left side; that is, surrender and love. (AFW, 31 December 2009).

Artwork by Michael Parkes

Even in the West, we are still in the fledgling stages of democracy, still learning to stretch our wings. Capitalism is an immature and therefore temporary example of ‘civilisation.’ It’s what we have for now but I believe that, since the older souls incarnating now will be aware of its faults and require a more just and meaningful collective existence, it is time to move on, to evolve beyond this stage.

“The rationale for universal compassion is based on the same principle of spiritual democracy. It is the recognition of the fact that every living being has an equal right to and desire for happiness. The true acceptance of the principle of democracy requires that we think and act in terms of the common good. Compassion and universal responsibility require a commitment to personal sacrifice and the neglect of egotistical desires.” - The Dalai Lama.

I guess men generally need to love more and women need to express power more. We all need to take charge of our lives and release the dragon inside us, to stand up and be counted. How are you reinforcing the victim if you shine like the Sun with both love and power as a unique individual? Surely you are allowing yourself and your children to be victims by not taking action and expressing your power. Is the sun and victim of the clouds? Or the turning Earth? Or the curtain covering my window? No, it smiles eternally and shines its light so it reaches all places and people when they're ready and when life permits.

I also told my friend, ‘I find that repeating positive affirmations can invoke solutions from the Self. Solutions can come out directly in terms of prompts to take action. And, as I said in my journal, which you read, sometimes I was shocked at how forceful that action was on occasion...completely out of character. But I never regretted it because it was 100% effective and just what I needed to do! There's a feeling of purity in that...because the action never came from ego or reaction but from a place deep within me in response to my intent to resolve the issues effectively. You know...this family living next door to me - believing I was helpless and vulnerable just because I'm on my own. I had to shatter that illusion periodically. Hopefully I have achieved that permanently now! But I'm sending them love and light every day just in case! LOL. I really should have done that all along and not given up so quickly. We live and learn!’

“If you must be selfish, then be wise and not narrow-minded in your selfishness. The key point lies in the sense of universal responsibility. That is the real source of strength, the real source of happiness. If we exploit everything available, such as trees, water and minerals, and if we don´t plan for our next generation, for the future, then we´re at fault, aren’t we? However, if we have a genuine sense of universal responsibility as our central motivation, then our relations with the environment, and with all our neighbours, will be well balanced.” - The Dalai Lama.

Agnete Hegelund by Elina Kechicheva for Marie Claire Spain, November 2013


Life a seed buried in earth to sprout into a tree,
a human being must be modest and humble
in order to grow spiritually.

Nothing is gained by egotistical confrontations,
feeling important, thinking we know everything,
have nothing to learn and can defeat any argument.

Only after we ourselves have become good
are we in a position
to give advice to others.

Pride and selfishness will destroy us,
but if we feel love and compassion as if we are
everyone's servant, the whole universe will bow down.

Rain upon the mountain streams downhill
pooling in the ravine at the bottom.
So great is humility, everything rushes toward it.

In asking for surrender - total surrender -
to the supreme Self, spirituality
shows us the way to lasting happiness.

Surrender to the Supreme
is the only guarantee of safety
and the only way to bliss.

When huge trees are uprooted by a cyclone
and tall buildings collapse, the grass remains
unscathed - such is the greatness of humility.

Take it to be Divine will,
and there will be
no problem.

When we offer ourselves to the Divine,
our minds are purified, sorrows end,
and life becomes a festival.

is the sign
of true knowledge.

- Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi).

“There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.” - Booker T. Washington (

Retrospective insert.

"Happiness is not the result of certain conditions. Certain conditions are the result of happiness." - Neale Donald Walsch.

“As we ask, Why would you like to be over there? often the reply is, ‘Because I’m not happy over here where I’m standing.’ We then explain that it is important to talk about what is believed to be ‘over there’ and to try to find the feeling-place of what is ‘over there.’ For as long as someone is talking about, and feeling, what is ‘over here,’ it is not possible for them to get ‘over there.’” – Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.154).

I have learned that it is vital to one’s wellbeing and promise for the future to work on one’s vibration and get into a positive-feeling place each day, not only as a buffer to the assaults that may be hurled from every direction in this messed up world but also to release the old and create the new, to make room for more Light in one’s life. Face what is and feel it. Don’t be afraid of the feeling but don’t stop there either. Feel through it and when you feel everything continuously and deeply and your intention is to be your true, joyful, eternal Self and to be happy, then you get to the bottom of the glass and its starts filling up with feelings you do want and which are pure, natural expressions of who you really are as Spirit. And you find that this state of consciousness has been there all the time

That’s not to say that I myself have practiced this art of living creatively rather than destructively sufficiently or achieved anything along these lines. But, I have finally arrived at this understanding and feel that it is just a matter of time before I change my habits, my attitude, my thought processes because I now realise that if I am feeling negative in relation to my circumstances it is because I am out of alignment with my Self. I’ve been sucked into the illusion, in other words, and fallen prey to this vampire. In order to be free, we must first centre ourselves in the heart where our own power lies…somewhere! Eventually, we will connect with this Light more and more and it will flow more easily to the surface and shine out into our outer world. And love and gratitude are openings to this state of true being. Doors that require no key or force to push them open. What they do require, however, is continuous tenderness, self-love, openness and the sweetness of the heart with all its potential for magic. 

We must be born again as children. For, as the Holy Bible says, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:17). And here is another pointer from Abraham Hicks which sums the situation up succinctly and describes what we might do about the difficulties we are experiencing in our present lives:

“If you have been accustomed to thinking and speaking about where you are currently standing, it is not an easy thing to suddenly shift your vibrations and to now begin thinking and feeling something that is very different. In fact, the Law of Attraction says that you do not have access to thoughts and feelings that are very far from where you have recently been vibrating, but, with some effort, you could find other better-feeling thoughts that are within your reach.” – Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.155).

It certainly seems difficult to suddenly jump to feeling how we would IF things were going our way. Many of us have given affirmations and positive thinking our best shot and finally given up after becoming disillusioned with this so-called ‘Secret.’ However, the reason why endeavours like these - and prayers – do not result in manifestation is that there is resistance to allowing joy and abundance, health and harmony, to flow freely. [See Appendix XIV: ‘ThePower of Thought’].

“The reason you have not already gotten what you desire is because you are holding yourself in a vibrational holding pattern that does not match the vibration of your desire. That is the only reason – ever! And an important thing for you to now understand is that if you will stop and think about it, or, more important, stop and feel about it, you can identify your very discord. So now, the only thing you need to do is gently and gradually, piece by piece, release your resistant thoughts, which are the only disallowing factors involved. Your increasing relief will be the indicator that you are releasing resistance, just as your feelings of increased tension, anger, frustration, and so on, have been your indicators that you have been adding to your resistance.” – Abraham (Ask and it is Given. Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2004, p.15).

Not that this resistance is conscious. Most of it is likely to be unconscious due to habitual emotional responses and reasoning processes which have secured for themselves the momentum required for manifestation. We must learn to “offer thoughts that are different enough in vibrational nature to hinder your natural connection with Source,” as Abraham explains. “We refer to that condition as resistance…We want to assist you in consciously allowing your connection, more of the time, to Source.” (ibid. p.16-17).

So, it is a matter of adjusting the tracks and changing the direction of this train so it drives us to the destination we want to go to. And we reprogramme ourselves in the first instance not by suddenly taking a big jump but by starting with the baby steps, patiently and lovingly conditioning ourselves to find a positive-feeling place in every moment if we possibly can. And, really, the way to do this is to keep feeling in the heart, keep loving. And love, I believe, begins with acceptance and ownership (earth), moves up a notch into gratitude, or purity of feeling (water), then up to intention, or conscious desire (fire) and finally culminates in full, objective awareness and realisation (air), realisation that all IS Light and all IS Love and there is no other reality. The fruit has ripened on the tree of life. The Sun has broken through the clouds that were concealing the mountain. Because we made our way slowly up to the peak and discovered to very Source of life, the very heart of our existence.

The trouble with our Western society is that it is so male-oriented that we neglect these initial feminine steps (earth and water are the feminine elements). Similarly, in the East, there is a strong tradition of humility and the wisdom of being content with what one has. Yet, people are wont to remain at that level, at the foot of the tree or mountain, and neglect to reach up to the where the sun is shining or the fruit is ripening. Intent (fire) should be our centre, it is true. However, without the foundation of thankfulness for what we have produced in our lives up to this point, we remain stuck in the ego, centred as identities that are separated from everything rather than surrendering to the infinite whole, to the Goddess.

All is one consciousness and, as long as we defy this reality by not feeling and releasing and allowing the whole of life to flow like a river through the village of our lives we will remain stranded, cut off from the supply of nourishment for our crops, our dreams. Most of us are staggering around dying of thirst and do not even know the cause of our illness because we have yet to ask questions and invite the medicine man or wise teacher into our lives who has this information to share with us. We can’t even think straight and whenever we see something that looks promising it turns out to be merely a mirage.

“With a determination to feel better, you could change the subject and therefore find other thoughts with better-feeling vibrations – but vibrational shifting is usually a gradual process. In fact, a continual attempt, in defiance of the Law of Attraction, to try to jump vibrational ranges is a major factor in the feelings of discouragement that eventually cause people to conclude that they really do not have control of their own life experiences.” – Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.156).

“We want you to know that you always hold the power and control of your own life experience. The only reason that you could ever experience something other than what you desire is because you are giving the majority of your attention to something other than what you desire.” – Abraham (Ask and it is Given. Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2004, p.73).

We live in the third dimension where a small bunch of crooks have cut off the water supply and taken control of the land. They control our reality by keeping us in a state of fear and ignorance. We have forgotten, however, that there are rivers flowing here there and everywhere beneath the ground which simply need to be found and unleashed. And, as one individual succeeds in doing this so do others find their way back to ending the drought for themselves and others. What is it they say? ‘Before we judge others, we must first tidy up our own front yard before.’ Well, this also applies if we want the world to bring us what we want. The work of ascension is clearing up and releasing the old negative habits and we can do this in stages as long as we honour the truth and remain mindful of the love lurking deep in our hearts. That love is not hiding from us. It is we who have long forgotten what love is or that we are love. So, it rarely, if ever, occurs to us to go within, to feel in our heart space and exercise that muscle again. This is the teaching of St. Germain and the Ascended Masters, not mine. I am learning the ropes, or remembering how to live according to my true Being, just as you are.

“We want to remind you of the basic premise that must be understood before any of this will make sense to you: Well-Being flows; Well-Being wants you! Well-Being is lined up outside your door. Everything you have ever desired, whether spoken or unspoken, has been transmitted by you vibrationally. It has been heard and understood by Source and has been answered, and now you are going to feel your way into allowing yourself to receive it, one feeling at a time.” – Abraham Hicks (Ask and it is Given. Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2004, p.16).

P'taah: And those of you who come into this new way of thinking and understanding that you create your own reality absolutely, so it is that then you may begin to change the way that you make choices. In other words, you can make choices from sovereignty rather than fear and also come into the understanding that whatever you create is a gift…
                Sovereignty is how you are with whatever is occurring that is ostensibly beyond your control. When you have created or co-created at some level a situation, such as the termination of job, so it is that you can say, ‘Well, this is not my fault.’ Yet you have an emotional reaction to it and so it is part of your creation, even if it is not conscious.
So the sovereignty comes in how you choose to be with this circumstance, this co-created event. And none of you can see around corners but what you may absolutely take on faith is that whatever occurs may be a gift and of great benefit to you.
And you know, the greater part of you really knows all the possibilities and probabilities and sometimes it is necessary to create something like this in order to create that which is of greater benefit, of greater adventure, you see, of more fun, of something quite wondrous!
Q2: So you use the word 'sovereignty' in a way which means to keep your head and motivate yourself in such a situation.
P'taah: We use it in a way that you have freedom to choose how you will be with whatever circumstances you create or co-create. You can go into a depression. You can go into great fear. You can run around likened unto chicken with head off and be very woeful and have a pity-party. Or you can say, ‘Well, this has been a bit of shock but I understand that this will be to my benefit. That in this circumstance there is a gift for me if I can allow it.’ And that is called surrender to what is. You understand?
(Excerpts from November 2010 Message from P'taah, channelled through Jani King,

Police Chief (Alexei Sayle song):

Whenever people bother me
When they shout and raise their voices
I don't let it get me down
I just make some stupid noises!


When the boss is giving you the sack
'Cause you've lost all his invoices
Don't drink a bottle of sulphuric acid
Relax, make stupid noises!

Just go...[more stupid noises as he dances around].

- The Young Ones (additional material written by Alexei Sayle: Season 2, Episode 2, ‘Cash,’ written by Ben Elton and Rik Mayall, 1984, BBC TV).

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