Arrr! See CONTENTS for links to the 125 chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs plus introductions, conclusions, postscripts and appendices. This treasure trove also includes a collection of articles offering further insights into the themes explored in the trilogy. Namely, managing suffering and conflict (dealing with hostile people if you are nervous, sensitive or shy) and learning not to react
MotherShip by Sam Wise ___ PLEASE REFRESH PAGE FOR WEB FONTS
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Monstaville Book II. Chapter 8
“Still, it is hard for a pure and
thoughtful man to live in a state of rapture at the spectacle afforded to him
by his fellow-creatures; above all it is hard, when such a man is placed as
Marcus Aurelius was placed, and has had the meanness and perversity of his
fellow-creatures thrust, in no common measure, upon his notice - has had time
after time, to experience how ‘within ten days thou wilt seem like a god to
those whom thou art now a beast and an ape.’”
(Matthew Arnold’s essay on Marcus
Aurelius, 1865, from Marcus Aurelius:
Meditations, Wordsworths Editions Limited, Herts, U.K., 1997).
(My favourite quotation RE: dealing
with ignorant ruffians like Pigsy).
Pigsy can be compared to a volatile
child running wild, a social leper (you have to keep away from) and a
psycho-monster! There is little good there (this isn’t ‘Mr. Benn brings out the
saint in hard man Smasher’!). That’s why he’s close to his mother: she reminds
him of being loved for who is, his faults overlooked perhaps, as it was in the
beginning, in childhood. So he can deny his faults. She loves him as she did
when he was a child, so it frees him of his alcoholism and the monster he has
become. He probably separates the two for his own convenience, shows only a
good side, albeit a lie, to his mother and uses that persona in his job and
when he needs people to trust him. It helps him to get by. Perhaps he just
always ends up on his own and needs her because she is always there for him.
He is trying to engage, to interact
with me, to get my attention because he wants to compete and demonstrate his
power, like a child. An adult would pay little attention to a child doing this
because the child is small and can do no real damage. You can observe and guide
it, tell it off, tell it to stop, remove its toys. If it had a gun though it
would be a different story. It is hard to reason with a child but it is not as
conscious as you so you can display power and it may back down, concede without
knowing why, just that the natural order of things is for adults to have more
power and authority. The child doesn’t want to get into trouble. It won’t use
the gun. Yet, it enjoys the power, if you believe it has power. But, also, it
could get carried away, intoxicated by glory and power and lose self-control.
And, BANG! It would regret the action but it would be too late. Pigsy is like a
child with a dangerous adult body as a weapon and also alcohol and knives,
bottles, etc. He can also cause physical damage and he is like a child with a
gun. If you don’t call his bluff, catch him out, he will use the threat to control you and run riot as
his childish, undisciplined nature wants. He lacks discipline like a child and
is disciplined only when he feels fear and when boundaries are clearly
presented to him. Then he’s just a baby.
So, what of a spiritual child? Is
that a threat to a spiritual adult? A monster and an angel together. The
monster attacks and the angel does nothing. The monster destroys all that is
material and physical. The angel doesn’t care. Alas, I am no angel! No saint
even. I need to hang on to my physical life and possessions, to protect my
work, etc. I am in a physical body and therefore vulnerable, and my mind is
vulnerable too through my body and senses, but not psychically. That is where
my strength lies. Pigsy makes noises to remind me he’s there and is a threat
and that I should fear him (so he can impress his girlfriend by showing what
power he has).
"I heard an Angel singing
when the day was springing,
‘Mercy, Pity, Peace
Is the world's release.’
- William Blake.
19 September 2003. 00.54 a.m.
After Pigsy coughing loudly when he
arrived home with his girlfriend (imitating my cough as he does regularly!) and
the girls next door laughing loudly so late, I concluded: I will HAVE to move.
I will have to discard my possessions, live without a garden, leave London perhaps and stop
writing my books (no space) etc.
The fact that Pigsy hasn’t moved out
shows that he is a bully. He’s looking for a reason to lose his temper because
he enjoys the release of his pent up anger, his inner fury. It gives him and
his girlfriend a thrill. So he winds me up to try and get a reaction so I am
humiliated. But I don’t play ball. I’m no fun!
‘Oh, I have an alcohol problem,’
etc. Domestic violence: men want to take their crap out on someone else,
someone who is unable to defend themselves. Then they go all innocent and soft
to persuade the other person of their genuine remorse and innocence, etc. they
then forget it all. It goes out the window. The monster tries to justify his
behaviour by ignoring his own failings and expanding on yours, twisting them in
any way possible to make you look bad - just full of bullshit, lies. 
“Any excuse will serve a tyrant.” - Aesop.
Pigsy felt inferior, an outsider,
with me there all healthy and sane and stuff. He took offence at my
comparatively puritanical judgements, my reaction to people winding me up, etc.
his intimidation is designed to break up the established, harmonious energy of
me and my flat, to make me more nervous and unstable, to crack. He is trying
instinctively to make cracks in the energy I have downstairs. That’s why he may
give up. He cannot be happy there because I remind him he’s an unhappy, sad old
fuck-up. He can’t take it. Hence, he could only have a chat once he got on a
sober wavelength and could feel some sense of dignity albeit based on lies. So,
if the stronger pink energy remains, it will piss him off (psychically).
Especially if he stays at his flat regularly. He’s going to feel it. So will
You need to
be a Superman, as in Nietzsche’s philosophy. You need to be greater than all of
these problems in life, be bigger and more powerful than them. And view Pigsy
as an ant or wasp or something. Just an insect that stings a little. No true
damage. No serious harm.You have to be
a god, effortlessly dealing with everything in your life, not worrying, not
being afraid, working internally to increase your consciousness, your energy,
mind and expression. Be a light which people respect and recognise. They can
see that you are not affected by much in this world because you are more than a
“Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.“ - Lady Holland.
with Pig monster and the nasties next door is an energy thing: it is about
keeping the energy here stable and harmonious so nothing kicks off. They need
volatile energy to work with destructively. You have to compensate for his
negative energy - manage your mutual space. Reign. You may even be safer here
like this because you can control the energy. You know where he is, where he’s
going to try things. So, it’s just here and you can create the energy here as
you live here. If it was in a bar or at work or something, you couldn’t control
the atmosphere or create the energy there totally.
Pigsy wants to feel big, to prove
he’s a big man by making you feel small. He feels like a big shot and can
impress his girlfriend by intimidating, poking fun at you, winding you up. If
he can get your attention, then he can engage with you, pull you into his sick
games, create a psychic tie, a union in which he can pour his negative emotions
and lose his temper. He needs your input as one person’s psychic energy. And intent
is not sufficient to create a light in which the conscious mind is pretty much
overridden and all the anger and bad stuff in the deep unconscious is released.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles...by the ears, by the heels,
or any other way you can manage it." –
His power stands in relation to your
fear. If you have power and not fear, he may then feel fear. That’s why he has
to play psychological games. Perhaps he’s doing it because he enjoys the power
of being possessed but needs negative input from you to make it hard for him to
draw on deeper, darker reserves of power within and beyond him (negative
forces). He has no power here so he’s using whatever means he knows to try to
take power from me and establish and claim his territory in the whole house.
That’s what he’s doing - like a dog. Perhaps he feels humiliated and powerless
if he is not in control, if he is not feared. Unless he feels he has power over
me he feels that he is not the powerful man he wants to be and whom his
girlfriend can admire. So he avoids coming here. Or, perhaps it’s just the fact
that I do not react and don’t play his dirty games.
You wish me to go?
(Someone frightened of the fact that
Caine stands up for himself instead of just accepting what the bullies do): I
wish you never had come.
Caine: A man cannot live his whole life
(Same man): What have you to fear?
You're a Shaolin priest. If I had your strength...
Packets which contain advanced information which is sometimes difficult to
decipher are being downloaded to those who have begun the process of unifying
the Sacred Mind and the Sacred Heart. In time, this will become a normal
process; however, for the time being, you must allow yourselves time to turn
inward and contemplate what is being given to you so that you can transform the
knowledge into wisdom and integrate that which rings true to you. You must then
put your newly‑found wisdom into action which will gradually enhance your Light
quotient and will add a new vibrational pattern to your Soul Song. Ask yourself
this question before your sleep time: What have I contributed this day to the
human/earthly storehouse of wisdom and loving energy? Living in a state of
harmlessness in the NOW moment is your goal. Remember, with greater gifts comes
As you become more proficient as
cocreators on the earthly plane, you must constantly monitor your energy
patterns and seek to upgrade them. You must strive for sustained harmony and
refined godly expression. You must liberate the power of the Sacred Fire within
which has lain dormant for many thousands of years. You must learn to direct
and focus your energy into the areas of your life you wish to change. By
establishing and constantly upgrading your Creator Wheel of Life, you are
planting the seeds of focussed change and you are supplying the Sacred Fire of
Creation needed to manifest what you have envisioned. When you can do this
proficiently, your personal world will become a wonderland, and you will become
a beacon of Light for all to see.@
‘Reactivity indicates the need for self-forgiveness’
through Jayem, The Way of Mastery, ‘The Power of Forgiveness,’ Lesson 3, Heartfelt Publishing, VA.,
U.S., 1997,p.35, www.wayofmastery.com).
assured, you will continue to project upon others what remains unhealed and
unforgiven within yourself. Each time you react to another, you are being given
a sign that there is some kind of energy that has been presented to your
awareness that you have not forgiven within yourself. If someone is critical
and you react every time they are critical, rest assured, you have not healed
that part of your own being - that part of your own experience of being
critical of others.
it is occurring now, or whether it seems to be a pattern that you have interrupted
and no longer do, you have still not forgiven yourself for having identified
with that energy.
your ordinary experience in each day to observe what pushes your buttons. We
will give you a very simple technique for doing so. If you will stay with it,
it will reveal to you the energies that are in need of your forgiveness.
technique is quite simple. As you go through your day, observe when you feel
as though you are in contraction. Are the muscles of the body tight? Is
the breath very shallow? Does your voice become faster or louder when you speak
about some energy in someone else. That is a sign that you need to do healing
within yourself. When you recognise that these kinds of signs are
going on - in other words, life has presented you with an opportunity to
be disturbed - that is a sign that there is something that requires healing.
Therefore, count it a blessing if you feel disturbed.”
thing is funny search it for a hidden truth.” – George Bernard Shaw.
1. Eckhart Tolle suggests that the ‘pain
body’ is responsible for alcoholism and violence in men and that it is this
which commits the violence. I’m not sure if he means density in the emotional
body which is blocked by negative emotions associated with painful experiences
and which need to be released.