Mike (Christopher Ryan): Yeah?
Neil: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far, though.
Mike: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.
Vyvyan (Adrian Edmondson): I don't like the ‘dear.’ Sounds a bit too much like, ‘Will you go to bed with me?’
Mike: Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?
Vyvyan: Uh, what about...’darling’?
Neil: [Writing] ‘Darling Bank Manager...’
Rick (Rik Mayall): No, no, no, no, no, not ‘Bank Manager,’ it's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put ‘Fascist Bullyboy!’
Neil: ‘Darling Fascist Bullyboy...’
Mike: That's nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say?
Neil: Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
Mike: Well, what about, ‘Give me some more money?’
Vyvyan: ...’You bastard!’
Neil: Don't you think that's a bit strong?
Mike: Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength.
Neil: Yeah, you're right. Uh, ‘Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard...’ Uh...’Love, Neil.’
Vyvyan: Not ‘Love, Neil’! That sounds far too much like, ‘Come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine!’
Neil: Yeah, you're right... Uh, what about, ‘Yours sincerely’?
Rick: Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go 'round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
Neil: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not ‘Boom Shanka’? It means, ‘May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.’
Mike: He'll never understand ‘Boom Shanka,’ you'll have to write the whole thing out.
Neil: Right, okay, here we go. ‘Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil.’
Rick: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.